What I learned in 2017

Monday, January 1, 2018

The New Year seems to be a time to reflect on what happened the last 365 days of our lives.  

What impacted you.  What changes you encountered.  The highs and lows.   The things you didn’t plan to learn, but you did anyways. 

So here I am, trying to sum up some of the most impactful things I’ve learned these past 365 days, or 8,760 hours. 

These are in no particular order of importance.

1.  Trauma changes everything
God used our training in Houston, TX last March (in preparation for moving to Malawi), to radically open our eyes to the realities of so many children (and adults).

Experiencing loss, abuse, neglect, etc literally changes the ways bodies function, how brains are wired, and how belief systems are built. 

By outpouring this knowledge on us and having conversations about what children go through in these types of circumstances, allowed (and continues to allow) Tyler and I to have a greater understanding of those we serve in Malawi. 

I probably need to devote an entire blog post just for this topic.  There is so much to say, and it has taught me how to better love people in hard places.

2. Helping can hurt
You may have read, or at least heard of a book called “when helping hurts.”  Tyler and I read it together early last year, and we’ve seen it first hand living in a country of extreme poverty. 

Poverty isn’t an easy thing to talk about, to see, or to fix.  It’s complex, and it’s hard.

And what I have learned is that if I’m not extremely intentional with how I give and assist others, I can actually be doing more long-term harm than good in the community I’m trying to help.  

3. I will probably need a counselor for the rest of my life
Bold statement, right?
Some of you may already know this, but I started seeing a counselor when I was in 4th grade – due to having high levels of anxiety.  So it’s always been a normal thing for me, and now that I'm older, I guess I’m thankful for that.

From what I’ve gathered, society as a whole may think you only go to a counselor when something is horribly wrong (or wrong with you).  But that’s not the case at all.

Since serving with Pure Mission, Tyler and I talk monthly with a counselor (who is the best!!).  I’ve learned we will always be in a position to grow and heal.  That’s God’s design for us.

4. I actually enjoy reading
In the past, I’ve maybe read an average 2-4 books a year.  This past year alone, I can count roughly 20 (which I know, may be nothing to you).  But that’s a huge improvement for me!

And I actually enjoyed it.  I’ve learned that I love to learn. 
Side note: still can’t get myself to read fiction. Sorry. And I probably never will.

5.  It’s not a matter of white and black
One of our good friends and mentors in Malawi said something last summer that really changed the way I think.

Whenever I walk in the village, both kids and adults call me “mzungu.” Which means white person.  I could probably live here for 20+ years and would still be called that on a daily basis in the village.  In a way it points out the difficulty to fully belong in Malawi without standing out, being different, or being seen as someone who is privileged. 

Now, back to my friend. 
One day, our friend was out in the village (for whatever reason).  A Malawian adult called him “mzungu.”  Our friend took out his iphone (the iphone was white, and his case was black).  He showed the white part of his phone and asked the Malawian what color it was.  The Malawian said white.  Our friend then held the phone to his skin and asked if his skin was white.  The Malawian said no, it is light brown (aka tan).  Our friend then showed the black side of the phone case and asked the Malawian what color that was.  The Malawian said black.  Our friend then held that side of the phone to the Malawians skin and asked if his skin was the same.  The Malawian said no, it is brown.  Our friend then explained to him that both their skins were brown.  Not white and black.

This may not seem as profound to you as was is to me, but it really made me think.  Instead of having this “black and white” and “us and them” mindset, this concept unifies us instead.  Yes, I may be much lighter brown than everyone else here in the village, but realistically we are all just different shades of brown. 

And that’s pretty cool.

6. New challenges will always be ahead
Before moving to Malawi, I thought leaving family, raising support and moving overseas would be one of the greatest mountains to climb in my life.  I was extremely excited to follow where He was leading us, but I naively thought that once we arrived in Malawi, there would be a lot of smooth sailing and not a lot of change (feel free to laugh if you must).

Reality check!

And I know I’ve read this so many times in books and from sermons, that: God is always looking for ways to help me grow.

There will never be an end to learning, trusting, growing, getting pushed down and getting back up.  Our faith will continue to be tested.  And God usually does this by putting us in impossible situations. 

Since moving to Malawi, He has tested my: fears, motives, comfort, security, friendships, leadership, health, and doubts. 

And I know there is still much ahead. 


Happy 2018!